Aesop Jones

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100th Post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

100th post!!!!!!

[It has come to our attention that the Tumblr user Aesop Jones has used Six exclamation marks, which is two exclamation marks beyond the limit allotted to an anniversary post. His punishment will be swift and brutal.
Signed by the commission of correct moral standards and practices, otherwise referred to in unofficial documents as ‘They’.]

Wow, a hundred posts. Who’d have thought it?
So, Over the next week I’m going to release three different posts. One will be a work of fiction, the second chapter of my Dragon Age Fanfiction. The second will be an essay on a work of fiction. And the third will be my Discworld Review on The Last Continent. I’ll also see about sprucing up this theme, and maybe updating my about page.
Thank you again to everyone who has stuck with me thus far, and be sure that you haven’t heard the last of me. Good luck to you all. 

http://colouritlater.tumblr.com/post/82979702446/fuckyeahdiomedes-ive-been-trying-to-read

fuckyeahdiomedes:

I’ve been trying to read Unseen Academicals, and I just can’t get into it for some reason. I have no idea why. Usually I get sucked into a Discworld book and finish it fairly quickly, but this one just isn’t holding my interest. I have no idea why I don’t seem to like this…

One day I will go more into depth about this, but suffice to say that while it is not Terry Pratchett’s best work, it does feature some great moments (Vetinari’s monologue on the nature of evil is fantastic and perfectly fits his character) hidden among the mediocrity, and I personally have a soft spot for Mr Nutt, considering the tropes that he subverts. Not one of his best though, and one of the few Discworld books that I consider it okay to gloss over. 

It just hit me

I’m almost at my 100th post. 
I didn’t even know if I would make ti this far at the beginning, but it appears my pessimistic outlook has been proven wrong yet again. Truth be told the refutation of my pessimistic outlook and the lovely glow it brings is mostly why I have such a dim outlook in the first place. 
My own delightful outlook on life aside, I kind of fell like I should commemorate this 100th post somehow. With that in mind, do you guys have any requests? Do you want me to write a piece of fiction, want me to answer some questions, or some other special kind of post? 
Message me if you do, and I’ll get right on to it. 
Oh, and thank you all for sticking with me thus far. You’ve all been incredibly welcoming and helpful, and be assured that I’m not done yet. 

amischiefofmice:

orfs:

averyterrible:

thisplaceisdespair:

flatluigi:

stormingtheivory:

So can we talk about the absolutely stunning duplicity going on here?

holy shit

ok, why the fuck is the graph upside down. that is incredibly misleading

Because its from the Florida Department of Justice, and they have a mandate here.

for those who have trouble inverting it in their head, ftfy:


this is some of the most blatant twisting of info i have ever seen holy shit

There comes a point where something is so evil, so utterly twisted and hideous in its components and execution, that it’s almost kind of admirable. The same way that a fire being able to consume an entire forest is kind of impressive. 

amischiefofmice:

orfs:

averyterrible:

thisplaceisdespair:

flatluigi:

stormingtheivory:

So can we talk about the absolutely stunning duplicity going on here?

holy shit

ok, why the fuck is the graph upside down. that is incredibly misleading

Because its from the Florida Department of Justice, and they have a mandate here.

for those who have trouble inverting it in their head, ftfy:

image

this is some of the most blatant twisting of info i have ever seen holy shit

There comes a point where something is so evil, so utterly twisted and hideous in its components and execution, that it’s almost kind of admirable. 
The same way that a fire being able to consume an entire forest is kind of impressive. 

Louisiana House votes to uphold ban on sodomy

gaywrites:

The Louisiana House yesterday voted to uphold an unconstitutional state ban on sodomy — essentially political jargon for gay sex — as part of its “crimes against nature” law. 

In Lawrence v. Texas in 2003, the Supreme Court ruled that sodomy bans are unconstitutional. But a handful of states, including Louisiana, refuse to change their anti-sodomy laws. While the statute technically can’t be used as a basis to arrest people, Louisiana deputies have reportedly made sodomy-related arrests recently, inciting a lawmaker to try to repeal it. 

Against all logic or reason, on Tuesday, the state House voted 66-27 to keep the anti-sodomy law in place. 

In a letter urging Louisiana lawmakers to reject the proposal, the influential Christian lobbying organization wrote, “Louisiana’s anti-sodomy statute is consistent with the values of Louisiana residents who consider this behavior to be dangerous, unhealthy, and immoral.”

In a hearing earlier this month, Bill Smith, a member of the Louisiana Family Forum, told committee members that anti-sodomy laws save the lives of gay people by decreasing their exposure to HIV.

"I have homosexuals in my family. I’m here out of love and concern for the health of these people," Smith said in April. “The fact is this opens up ways for them to really kill themselves.”

I want to scream and cry and throw things. 

How in god’s name could you kill someone through gay sex? 
I mean I know lubrication is important, but really?

angergirl:

Guess how I know that the next door neighbor’s favorite musical artist is Celine Dion

guess

fucking guess

You had a pleasant discussion with this neighbor about your respective favourite artists, ultimately concluding that common courtesy should be observed when it came to keeping the noise down to a minimum?

REBLOG this if you’ll have sex with me OR if you like cake

culchiescorner:

alchemyprime:

Oh boy, cake!

Gimme cake or gimme death!




What kind of Cake are we talking here?

(Source: danavidansgirl)

joeeatspeople:

yesidolikecoatsbigtime:

Types of people who romanticize small town life:

  1. People who didn’t grow up in small towns

#THE LOCALS AREN’T QUIRKY#THEY’RE RACIST

And there is nothing, I repeat, NOTHING to do if you don’t like kicking things or talking about sheep. 

(Source: thatssoproblematic)

Fanfiction: Dragon age, Mage Origins: Chapter One.

Mage Origins: Chapter one- Arrival at the Circle

Dragon Age is the property of Bioware and EA, all locations, source characters and official Expanded Universe material are the property of Bioware and EA.

Fairy tales are more than true — not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten- G. K. Chesterton

The room was a vast cavern, a dense forest of spires glass and masonry lay splayed before them, none of which muffled the echoes of their footsteps. Even the scores of armoured men surrounding them appeared dwarfed in the space, where the wind howled and sapped the heat from the stone. None of the children had said a word since they entered the room, the sudden shock of so cold and cavernous a room with the presence of several dozen armed fully-grown men had sapped their talent for conversation.
After a full minute of frightened silence, the armoured men stood aside to admit an old man. His hair and beard were long, if a little unkempt, and he stood almost as tall as the men surrounding him. Despite this, his smile was kind, even if his eyes were weary. He looked at the audience of children, a motely group of five and six year olds, and cleared his throat.
“Welcome,” he said in a gentle voice, “To the Circle of Magi. I will not speak for long, save to say that I am very glad to meet you all. I am First Enchanter Irving, and if any of you have any problems in your first weeks, you must tell me, so that I may fix it immediately. These men are Templars, and their job is to protect you and look after you, so I must ask that you respect their wishes and endeavour to follow their commands. I can see that many of you are close to falling asleep standing up, so let’s get you to bed. Follow the signs to the apprentice dormitories, and you will find a bunk bed with your names on it in short order. Come along.”
The small crowd needed little encouragement to leave the room, or the Templars, and they followed Irving closely out of the room. As they entered one of the many corridors that circled the tower, many began conversing, growing louder and more confidant as they progressed through the tower. By the time they had reached the apprentice chambers, nearly all of the group were chattering, to the point where an irate voice yelled at them through one of the adjacent rooms to be quiet. The irate voice was quickly silenced when Irving calmly walked into the room, and the children took the opportunity to find their beds. By the time Irving returned, everyone had claimed their own space, and some had even fallen asleep. Irving was about to leave them in peace, when something caught at the edge of his vision. Turning around to see what it was, he saw a little girl had curled into a ball besides the doorway, staring ahead at the beds. A closer examination revealed that she was Elven, her short hair only accentuated her long ears. As quietly as he could, Irving sank to the floor to sit beside her. When she turned to look at him he nodded once, as if crouching to the floor next to young Elves was a casual occurrence for him. After a few moments of silence, Irving said quietly:
“You appear somewhat lost child.”
The girl nodded once, face carefully kept still.
“Natural. Perfectly natural,” Irving said in the same quiet tone. “I assume you come from an Alienage, judging by the lack of Vallaslin.”
The girl nodded again, her rigid face not giving an inch.
“And so,” Irving said slowly, “and pardon for the question, but are you able to read child?
The little girl didn’t answer, but she was obviously holding back a well of tears. She eventually managed the slightest of nods.
“I see,” Irving said, “Well that’s alright. Few here are able to read comprehensively, they only know what their name looks like. I shall help you find your bed for now. What was your name?”
The little girl breathed deeply a few times, trying to force down the tears that threatened to burst out, then croaked:
“Holly.”
“Holly,” Irving repeated, standing up as he did so, “Well Holly, I think we shall find your bed in very short order. Come with me.”
He held out his hand, but holly did not take it. She did rise however, and followed him across the room. Irving noted that she had no bags with her, and that her clothes looked, for want of a better word, worn in.
“Here we are,” Irving said quietly, trying to avoid waking the other apprentices, “This is yours. You may sleep for as long as you like, newly arrived mages are given three days rest before they begin lessons.”
“Thank you m’lord,” Holly said, eyes fixed on the bed.
Irving chuckled, and knelt down to her eye level,
“No Mage is addressed as a lord Holly. You may call me Irving, or First Enchanter, whichever is most suitable at the time.”
“Okay,” Holly said with a nod. “Thank you First Enchanter.”
Irving nodded, and began to walk away.
“First Enchanter,” Holly called.
Irving turned to face her, only to see a bowed head. He waited for a few moments, and she continued;
“Is there any way to take out my magic? I don’t want…” she trailed off, and bowed her head again, tears streaming down her face.
Irving did not say anything straightaway, he merely looked at her with an expression that could not be named. Then he slowly walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Child, there is nothing that could remove your magic.” He said simply.
He was lying, but the truth was hardly something that could comfort a little girl who was desperately afraid. Not this time at least.
“I know some of what you feel, that your family is lost to you forever, that you have been consigned to a life you were never able to choose, and that it is your magic that has condemned you.”
Holly looked up at him, unconcerned with the tears running down her face.
“Try not to look so shocked,” Irving said with a very faint smile, “I did not arrive at the circle fully grown and bearded. Your abilities do mark you as different, but in time you can develop them and train yourself until you become extraordinary. Fear is your enemy, not your magic.”
Holly wiped her nose, and nodded shakily. Irving guided her to her bed.
“In time you will make friends, and perhaps they shall become a new family of sorts. The Circle of Magic will always be your home, and I for one, welcome you here.”
Holly stared at him for a moment, then gave the tiniest of smiles.
“Goodnight child,” Irving stood up to leave, “I see great things in your future.”
It was only when he had left, and the silence of twenty three children sleeping settled over the room that Holly felt safe enough to bury her face in her pillow, and begin sobbing. 

Okay

I’ve been playing Dragon Age Origins for the first time in a few months, and I have simultaneously been bitten by a writing bug. So, as a consequence, I’m writing my first fanfiction (well technically the stuff I wrote at Eleven was pretty much fanfiction, I just changed names and didn’t think of it as Fanfiction. It was awful.), and it’s about Dragon age, and I’m probably going to put it up later today. 
Sorry.